"I don't know if I believe anymore."


These words can strike fear into the hearts of Christian parents, pastors, and friends. But what if deconstruction isn't always a path away from faith, but sometimes a necessary journey toward a more mature faith? As Psalm 13:1-2 honestly expresses, "How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?"


Deconstruction – the process of questioning and reevaluating one's religious beliefs – has become increasingly common, especially among young adults. While this can be scary, it's worth noting that many biblical figures went through similar processes. Job questioned everything he thought he knew about God. Thomas doubted until he could touch Jesus' wounds. Even Jesus asked questions about God's plan on the cross, crying out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).


The key isn't to prevent questioning, but to create safe spaces where people can wrestle with their doubts without being shamed or dismissed. Just as Jesus responded to Thomas's doubts with compassion and evidence rather than condemnation (John 20:27), we're called to respond with grace to those questioning their faith.


When someone shares their doubts, resist the urge to jump in with answers. Instead, try saying, "Thank you for trusting me with this. Tell me more about your journey." This approach mirrors God's patience with our questions, as demonstrated in Psalm 34:18: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


Several factors often contribute to faith deconstruction:


  • Exposure to different worldviews in higher education or work

  • Painful experiences in church communities

  • Unanswered prayers or personal trauma

  • Recognition of complexities in biblical interpretation

  • Disconnect between professed beliefs and observed behaviors


Remember, God isn't afraid of our questions or doubts. As Isaiah 1:18 invites, "Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord." Often, deconstructing toxic or superficial elements of faith can lead to reconstructing a stronger, more authentic faith. This process might be necessary to move from inherited beliefs to owned faith.


For those walking alongside someone in deconstruction:


  • Listen without trying to fix

  • Share your own struggles and doubts honestly

  • Point to resources without pushing

  • Maintain relationship even when beliefs shift


Keep praying, as James 5:16 encourages: "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective"


The goal isn't to stop the process, but to walk alongside people with love and patience as they navigate it. Remember Jude 1:22: "Be merciful to those who doubt." Sometimes, what looks like walking away from faith might actually be walking away from unhealthy religious practices or misunderstandings about God.

It's crucial to distinguish between deconstructing human religious systems and abandoning faith in God. Many who deconstruct are actually seeking a more authentic relationship with God, stripped of cultural baggage and man-made traditions. As Jesus himself challenged religious systems while deepening faith in God, some deconstruction might actually align with biblical values.


For those personally experiencing deconstruction, know that your questions don't diminish God's love for you. Psalm 139:7-8 reminds us that we can't escape God's presence even in our darkest doubts: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."


The journey through deconstruction, while challenging, can lead to a more robust and authentic faith. Just as gold is refined by fire (1 Peter 1:7), faith that survives questioning often emerges stronger and more genuine. The key is maintaining community and staying open to God's presence even in the midst of questions.